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dismay

fucking hate existing and being alive, stupid fucking world full of evil rotten people. the world around me feels like it's curdling. people make me so sick i can't stand it. i don't think they've secretly been evil the entire time, but i think they're all so spineless and scared of being wrong that they'll turn evil as soon as they're challenged. people are rotten and inconsistent. they care more about what makes them feel at ease more than they care about anything else. it makes me sick to be in this world with all these people. they're all rotten.

peoples' own inconsistencies makes me feel more paranoid because there's no signs that they've "secretly been bad" or whatever moralistic high-horse garbage. they're the same person they always were. i truly don't think they mean to be deceptive. it's personal weakness. they will only turn that way when they feel they have been permitted to do so. they are a worthless group that believes in nothing but their own comfort. there's no difference between "good" and "bad" people, they're all the same.

it makes me sick to think that we're the same species. i'm not like them because i've always been a bad dog. i think what i think and you can't pull me away from it. i can't trick people into thinking i'm nice because they know i'll bite. if you put your hand near me, you should know better.

i wish i could torture myself to death. nobody deserves mercy including my parts and including me. everyone is horrible. nothing is good.